Date: Saturday June 27, 2020
Location: The Bean – Downtown
5 pax met in the muggy gloom at the Parque de Noonan: Homer, Ladybug, Noona, RAT, & QIC Lavender.
While Lavender ensured no pax were lost at the closed Bean AO, Noonan led some stretching ahead of the ferocious beatdown to follow.
THANG 1 – 52 card stud
After shuffling a 52 card deck, each suit was assigned an exercise. Pax completed the number shown on the card of that exercise (i.e. 3 of hearts might be 3 merkins). Face cards count for 10. Aces are their own exercise. Keep going with NO REST between exercises until all four aces have come up.
Hearts – Merkins
Diamonds – Big Boy Situps
Spades – FULL Squats
Clubs – Side straddle hops in cadence
Aces – A set of stair runs (better hustle up and down because Q loves punishments)
THANG 2 – More 52 card stud
As reward for winning the stair runs, Ladybug chose the Hearts exercise and RAT chose diamonds. RAT got to shuffle this deck.
Hearts – Merkins
Diamonds – Lunges (each leg counts for 1/2)
Spades – Plank for 5 seconds; i.e. a 10 of spades is a 50 second plank
Clubs – American hammers (each side counts for 1/2)
Aces – One lap around Parque de Noonan
Q’s exuberance to turn the final ace cost the whole group penalty lunges as Noonan still had one left at the time
As punishment, pax had to complete 1 burpee for their rank on each lap. i.e. if you came third back to the start on all four laps (aces), you owe 12 burpees.
THANG 3 – Even More 52 card stud
Each Pax got to select a suit this time. This really confused Pax Homer as it turned out.
Hearts – Spidermans with a merkin (Noonan plus Ladybug wanted it to be harder so added the merkin)
Diamonds – Gas pumps (RAT)
Spades – Bear crawl one flight of stairs; i.e. a 5 of clubs is bear crawl 5 flights of stairs (Homer)
Clubs – forearm plank for 5 seconds; a 10 of clubs is a 50 second plank
Aces – 1 minute of planking
It turns out bear crawling 5 flights of stairs is really hard, so after multiple spades were pulled, Q audibled to Q’s choice for Spades. Did some more ab centric stuff. One of them included 15 dips, which became 35 because Homer needed a break, which became 40 because RAT miscounted them. Why really though? Because WWDGD – “What Would David Goggins Do?” Upon further reflection Q thinks it’s probably the bear crawls so I recommend you don’t attend his next beatdown…
With 30 seconds left, there wasn’t enough time for a card, but enough to get a final exercise in, so the pax bear crawled to the top of the stairs in Homer’s honor. May he always remember this the next time QIC Lav asks him for an exercise idea.
All 5 sweat soaked and physically drained pax attended Coffeteria at the Stan’s Donuts (freebies for national donut day!) – topic covered a broad range of Sweet Tooth approved and (mostly) unapproved topics. Q appreciates Homer’s generosity in providing him with a ride home after the tough morning.